the process

the name of the above fabric? "hedgehog parade." that's right. there was another one called "pig toss," which is exactly what you're imagining. holy moly. it's too good.

so.

i've been having a bit of a brainstorm about some new creative projects to embark on. i'm thinking about fabric leaf sculpture and sewing summer skirts, and making new tote bags and adding applique embellishments to prexisting totebags. i'm thinking about embroidery. embroidery, for heavens' sake! little birds and trees... i've been thinking about hunting for new recipes for roast chicken and gazpacho and raw collard green veggie wraps. i've been thinking about baking bread. i've been thinking, once again, about pie.

here's the thing, though. i suppose i'm a reasonably creative person (i think we all are, acutally). i'm excited to have new ideas. but i am reminded over and over, as i fiddle with the sewing machine bobbin or eye mark's half-finished scarf, that i often avoid being creative because i don't like the process. i like brainstorming. i like having ideas and making lists and writing them down. i also like being done. i know some people really enjoy the making, but all i really want is to have the finished product: to wear my new "very hungry caterpillar" skirt while eating gazpacho made from tomatoes i've grown in the backyard. with pie for dessert. in a tote bag.

i have been thinking a lot lately about the process and about getting more comfortable with puzzling through the unfinished messiness. there are many life components for me that are very much in the "process" stage at the moment. i can't see how they are going to turn out, or if they are going to work the way i expect/hope/imagine they will. i am doing my best to not drive myself crazy looking for the conclusion before living the story. because that's creative too. and the only way to get to the finished product is to go through.

my favorite buddhist would point out, of course, that it's all a process and muddling through is the only way. it's just a question of how conscious we choose to be about the muddling.

the project: conscious muddling. making friends with the process. and bird embroidery.